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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25605709">this feeling, it could be our calling</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/souyocore/pseuds/souyocore'>souyocore</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>joker/reader hijinks >:3 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gay Rights, M/M, Pining, Poet reader, Reader-Insert, Songfic, Unrequited Love, akira kurusu is bi, gay reader, its based off bagsy not in net by the 1975, its kinda sappy, mlm, phantom thief! reader, slight p5 spoilers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:02:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,667</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25605709</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/souyocore/pseuds/souyocore</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>a small recounting of the moments you realized that you might be falling in love with the leader of the phantom thieves. </p>
<p>(slight songfic, based on bagsy not in net by the 1975)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Amamiya Ren (Persona Series)/Reader, Kurusu Akira/Reader, Persona 5 Protagonist/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>joker/reader hijinks >:3 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1855915</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>this feeling, it could be our calling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>he's called akira kurusu in this fic because i just think its cuter ♥<br/>also!<br/>akira is bi, reader is male (trans or cis, you decide ^_^)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>this feeling, it started when you called me.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>incoming call: akira kurusu ♥</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“akira?” you mumbled, turning on the lamp next to you. it was really late in the night, but you weren’t even close to being able to fall asleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“are you sleeping?” he whispered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“not anymore,” you joked, before shaking your head, “no, i wasn’t. i had an energy drink too late, so i’m just working on some writing.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“oh. yeah, i can’t sleep either. just... “ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>closing your notebook, you sat in bed. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“is there something you wanted to talk about, akira? i don’t mind.” it wasn’t unlike akira to call, but at this time of night, it worried you a little. you chewed the inside of your lip, only hearing him exhale slowly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“no, no, i just want to hear your voice..” </span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>as much as you hated to admit it, you started to feel yourself fall for akira kurusu. and how cliche too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you always felt yourself attached to the mysterious type of boys. the ones who talked very little, but looked at you like you were the entire world.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>and maybe it was your imagination, but that’s exactly how akira treated you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>being a second-year at shujin academy, you were all too familiar with how rumours about students and teachers spread around the school.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>it began when you started attending, just because of the way that you dressed and carried yourself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>your platform shoes, your bracelets decorating your wrists, and the extra makeup. it caught the attention of the other students, and they began to whisper when you would walk down the hallway to and from your locker.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“why does he dress like that?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“he looks like a girl.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>they didn’t bother you too much, just tired you out. going home, you spent your time cooped up in your room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>the rumours had finally decreased when akira joined shujin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>they were even worse than the things they said about you. called him a murderer, said he carried a knife, and was on the run from the police.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>your first encounter with akira was purely coincidental. ann takamaki and you were close, both originally bonding over the judgement of your looks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“oh! have you met akira?” she asked you as you opened your locker, taking out your notebook.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“no, not yet, but i’ve heard the things other students say about him. this school never changes, does it?” you sigh, slamming the door shut and leaning against the row of lockers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“yeah..” she trails off, before brightening up, “but anyway! i wanted to know if you wanted to hang out with akira and i, i think you two might like each other.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>ann was one of the only people you told about liking boys, and ever since, she had been desperately trying to set you up with others.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>sadly for her, the mlm dating scene in tokyo was definitely lacking. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“oh! sure, i don’t think i’m doing anything.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“cool! let’s go, we’re meeting in shibuya!” she exclaimed, grabbing your hand and rushing down the stairs of shujin. </span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>i’m dealing, and then i’m really lonely</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“are you sure? i don’t mind listening, if you need advice or just a shoulder to lean on. god knows you’re always offering me help.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“no, no… i just can’t fall asleep, that’s all. promise.” he kept his voice low, trying not to wake morgana.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>his voice when low was more soft than normal, but still held that normal baritone key that he always had. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“ok. i can, um..” you paused for a second, looking around, “i can, uh, read you some of my poetry, if you’d like?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>being a poet on the side of also being a student and a phantom thief proved to have its difficulties, but nothing that you couldn’t handle. it gave you a good purpose and reason to do things, something that you really didn’t have before meeting the phantom thieves. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you never shared your poetry, as it was very close and dear to your heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>but.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>for akira. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you would break that rule.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“i’d like that.” he replies.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>and you hate how your heart skips a beat at that. </span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you were the phantom thieves’ healer, adopting the name azalea. as your mom was a florist, you knew the meaning behind a lot of different flowers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>azaleas represented health and good fortune, two things that you thought were really important to being a phantom thief.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>though you weren’t the strongest, quickest or smartest of the group, you still proved vital to them. they came to you with their cuts and bruises, and you did your best to fix them up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“joker, sit still.” you chuckled as you lifted his shirt just a tiny bit. you couldn’t help but notice how toned his stomach was, and especially at such a bad time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>a long but shallow cut started on his side and reached his stomach. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you reached in your pocket, taking out ointment and a bandage. opening the ointment, you put just a little bit on your hand. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“don’t hate me, this’ll hurt like a bitch for a second.” you look up at him, giving him a gentle smile. “breathe in?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you feel his stomach suck in, as you press the ointment on the cut with your hand. </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“fuck.” he hisses, as you rub the ointment in. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“just so this cut doesn’t get infected. ok, ok, i’m all done.” you press the bandage on, before letting go of his shirt and standing up, “alright, joker, you’re all set.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“thanks nurse.” he replies, standing up next to you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>nurse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>the nickname he gave you. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>as he walks away to catch up with the rest of the group, you stand behind, your cheeks starting to heat up as your heartbeat races. </span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>trying, don’t like it</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“any poem you want is fine. i won’t judge.” he mutters, as you flip through your notebook.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you know that he wouldn’t ever say anything bad about your writing out loud, but this was the only moment that you would share anything like this to anyone, so you had to make sure that you were proud of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you landed on a page, one doodled with flowers and hearts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>the poem you wrote for him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>for akira.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>here goes nothing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“um, ok. i found one. you ready?” you ask, trying to make sure that your voice doesn’t shake too much.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“of course. you don’t have to read me anything, if you don’t feel comfortable with it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“no, no. i want to. this one’s really special to me. i wouldn’t wanna share it with anyone else.” you explain, slowing tracing your thumb along the words. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>he knew you liked boys, so there’s no need to hide that. and it’s not like you wrote his name in the poem, it’s very vague.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>there’s nothing to be afraid of. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>just read.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you begin to read, your phone resting in between your shoulder and ear. </span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“alright, so.. (y/n)! now it’s your turn!” makoto says, poking you in the side.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you and your teammates are sat in leblanc, finally having just a single day off of both school and phantom thieves duties. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“sorry, what? i was lost in thought.” you admit sheepishly, leaning back in the booth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“of course you were. she asked what kind of girls you’re into!” ryuji exclaims, looking at you with promise, “so? gotta tell us the deets, dude.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you sigh, looking at ann. she looked worried.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>everyone knew you were an awful liar, so just telling them you liked girls would not convince anyone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>oh well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“oh! uh, actually about that. i don’t… like girls?” you confess, looking down at your hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“so you’re gay?” makoto asks softly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you nod, feeling tears swell up. what if they never want to talk to you? what if they kick you out of the phantom thieves? what if-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>she pulls you closer to her, laughing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“why are you sad, silly? that’s great news! we can talk about boys now!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“thanks for telling us. we’re proud of you.” akira says to you, sitting on the other side of you. you smile gently, wiping your tears away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>ryuji coughs. “let me rephrase then, now that we’re done being emotional. what kind of guy do you like, (y/n)?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>akira.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>akira.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>akira.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>akira.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“hm, i’m not sure yet. maybe i’ll know some day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you lie straight through your teeth, praying to every god out there that no one catches on to your awful acting. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>as far as you’re aware, no one does. </span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>and leaving it here is the pain that i feel, so violent</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you finish the poem, letting go of the notebook. your hands sweat, and you swear you can feel a lump in your throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“that was amazing.” akira whispers, almost as if he is in awe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>your cheeks turn red, and thank god he can’t see you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“th-thanks.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“may i ask who it’s about?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you were afraid of this happening. of course he would ask who it’s about.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>but what were you going to say?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>it’s not like you could just lie. it was obviously about someone you knew, and he was aware that you weren’t the most popular person ever.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“secret.” you tease, “do you… do you want me to read you another?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>he yawns into the phone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“i should… go to sleep. and so should you.” he replies, yawning again, “thank you for being here for me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“goodnight” you say softly, barely audible to yourself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“goodnight, (y/n).”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>then the phone goes silent.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you’re staring at the wall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>it hurts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>it hurts so bad. </span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>do you wanna leave at the same time?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you don’t remember what time you fell asleep last night. or to be more correct, this morning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>all you know is that when you wake up, it’s nearly noon and your phone is dead.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>looking in the mirror, you slowly begin to remember last night, and why your eyes are still a little bit red.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>fuck. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>with your heart still a little bit heavy, you start to get dressed and apply makeup. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>sunday meant no school, and meant that you get a day to spend with someone. unfortunately, </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>with your phone dead, you had no plans for right now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>your notebook still lay on the ground, just a sad reminder that you were hopelessly in love with akira kurusu.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>as you began to wake up, you started to feel a little bit better, and checked your phone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>only 12% charged, but a message stood out to you.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>akira kurusu ♥: i didn’t get to thank you enough for last night</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>akira kurusu ♥: meet me at leblanc? </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>you sighed, rocking back and forth on your heels. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>of course you wanted to spend time with him, but every second with him brought more pain to your heart. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>a true catch 22.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“a situation that would only be fixed if you told him how you felt.” you whisper to yourself, looking in the mirror. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>jeez you sounded like makoto. but as much as you hate to say it, she’s usually right, even though she had very little experience in love.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>not to say that you do, as displayed by this predicament.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>you: of course</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>you: be there asap</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>after tying your shoes and grabbing your bag, you walked down the street to the train station. yongen-jaya wasn’t far, but wearing your shoes would be a deathwish walking from your house to leblanc. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>the trains weren’t bad, just packed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>it was worth it though.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>every second you got to spend with akira, no matter how painful it may be later, was worth it. </span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>that attack hit harder than you expected, leaving you with very little strength.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“i- i’m sorry..” you gasped out, as your legs finally gave out. you crumbled to the ground, choking back a sob.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>your vision began to get cloudy, you felt like curling into a ball and passing out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>a figure made their way to you, holding you up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“hey. hey. come on.” a voice whispered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>though it felt like it was coming from miles away, you could tell who the voice belonged to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>joker.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“joker?” you whispered, grasping at his coat, “please.. i’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“what on earth are you sorry about?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“i’m… not strong.. enough.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you can tell your consciousness was leaving you, as the room began to get darker and darker around you. a gloved hand made its way to your hair, stroking it gently. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“azalea, come on. you gotta stay with me… you can’t leave me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>a ringing started in your ears. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>not here. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>joker.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>i love you. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>you woke up in a safe room, your teammates surrounding you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“you’re awake!” panther exclaimed, throwing her arms around you. you laughed weakly, looking around. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“you had us worried, silly!” noir interjected, joining panther at your side.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you were sat on a table inside of a safe room, no doubt passed out for a while.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“i’m ok?” you asked, beginning to stand up. your legs were a little weak, but other than that, nothing felt too bad.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“yeah! have no clue why, though. i thought you were a goner.” skull said, before being elbowed in the side by queen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“thank joker. we have no idea how, but he fixed you up, easy peasy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you looked over at joker, sat in a chair near you, and smiled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“well, maybe you should take my job.” you giggled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“no, what would we do without our nurse?” he replied with a small smile playing on his lips. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you felt like you belonged.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>with the phantom thieves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>with joker.  </span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>i’m reeling, and i know i’m appalling</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>getting off the train in yongen-jaya, it was only a quick walk to leblanc, where akira told you to meet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>leblanc: coffee and curry.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>it wasn’t like you had never been here before, you’d been here a ton with your teammates. but somehow, this felt different.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you rocked back and forth on your heels, before taking a deep breath and pushing open the door. the bell above your head notified sojiro sakura of your entrance, as he turned to greet you like he greeted every customer who came in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“welcome! hey, (y/n)! come on in.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you flashed him a smile before sitting down at the bar, setting your bag down next to you</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“hi boss. is akira here? he asked to meet up here.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“yeah, i’m sure he is. just give him a couple minutes, you know how he can be sometimes. can i get you any coffee?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you shook your head, “no, thank you though. i’m trying to lay off the caffeine, it’s messed up my sleep schedule.” you confess with a sheepish laugh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“ah, i understand. well, let me know if anything changes. akira’ll be here any minute.” he replies, turning back to his coffee. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you turn on your phone and scroll through your various social medias for a few minutes, until you hear the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>tucking your phone into your pocket, you jump out of your seat to greet akira.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“akira!” you exclaim, rushing towards him</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“hey, good afternoon.” he greets you, “ready to head out?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“yeah, where are we going?” you ask, following after him as he opens the door, letting you out of the cafe first. before exiting, you make sure to give sojiro a quick wave, then walking after akira through the backstreets of yongen-jaya.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“its a surprise.” he whispers, before rushing you towards the shibuya line.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“shibuya?” you ask, looking up at him. even wearing your platforms, you were still a couple inches shorter than him, just because of his lanky frame.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“you’ll ruin the surprise if you keep guessing.” he elbows you gently. your heart beats a little bit faster, you’re noticing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>maybe it’s just the train station is a little warmer because of all the people.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>or maybe you’re even more in love with akira kurusu than you originally thought, and it’s not a simple crush. </span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you open your bag, trying to search for your notebook.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>moving aside an unopened energy drink, various books and pens, you still can’t find it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>well that’s weird.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>it’s rare that you don’t bring it to school, especially since it basically lives in your bag.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>did you just leave it at home? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>that’s strange, you bring it everywhere with you. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you might’ve accidentally left it in your locker? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>it seems unlikely, but you were in a little bit of a rush this morning, since you overslept just a little. (it was a lot actually)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you turn your attention back to the teacher, deciding to actually pay attention today, since your notebook is nowhere to be found at the moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>hopefully it’s not lost.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>god damnit. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>before too long, the bell rings, announcing lunchtime, and you rush as fast as you can to your locker, entering the combination and popping the door open.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>no notebook.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>where the hell did it go? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>god, if you lost it and someone read the stuff you’ve written in it-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“oh! (y/n)!” you hear ann call out, making her way towards you from down the hall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you notice her holding something and immediately tense up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>your notebook.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>so you did drop it. of course.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“i, uh, noticed you dropped this earlier!” she confessed, handing you the decorated notebook. “don’t get too mad, but i may have skimmed through it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you gasp, taking it from her and holding it to your chest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“i didn’t really read too much but one caught my attention. may i?” she takes the notebook right back, flipping through the pages and handing the open page to you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>the one decorated with flowers and hearts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“oh… that one. what about it?” you ask, feeling your heart nearly in your throat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“um. so… don’t hate me or anything, but is this one…” she gets a little bit closer, making sure that the two of you don’t get listened to, “is this one about akira?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you nearly jump back in the wall of lockers, your eyes wide.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“how did you- what?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“oh. so it is.” she winks, leaning around and putting the notebook back inside of your bag, “don’t worry. i’m not gonna tell him or anything… but a word of advice, if i may? i know i’m not the best person to give this kind of advice but.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>she takes your hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“tell him. just… trust me on this one?” ann whispers, before the bell rings. “now, come on. we have to go back to class. but. think about it.” </span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>not dying, just lying</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>the two of you make it to the shibuya station, before he leads you to the mall instead of the station.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you’d been here maybe a hundred times, but it felt strange to be here with akira. usually when you’re at the mall, it’s with ann or haru, maybe makoto on a rare occasion. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>this time, it didn’t seem like he was just here to wander and window shop, akira seemed like he was trying to get to a specific store.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>after following him for a few moments, he stops in front of a floral store. you look up and you almost feel your heart stop.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>he…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>brought you to a flower store? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>akira greets the shop attendant, and you can only vaguely hear what he’s saying to the woman as you stand behind him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“scarlet rose…. orchid…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you furrow your brow, as you try to remember what your mother has said about those two. nothing comes to mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>he pays the woman, a bouquet in hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“this is for you.” he hands you the flowers, as your eyes widen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“who else is here, silly? come on, let’s go sit together.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>bouquet in hand, you continue to follow akira until the two of you make it to the station square. all the way, you can’t stop thinking about the types of flowers he bought.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>akira sounded like he knew what he was talking about, which means that there had to be a meaning behind the choice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you were racing through all the different types of flowers you could remember, and what they represent. carnations were usually given to mean… love?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>love?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>and so were orchids. you looked more closely at the bouquet before stopping in the square, holding the flowers closer to your chest.</span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>and seeing you is the moment it’s clear ‘cause it’s quiet.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“love.” you mutter. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>akira stops as well, turning back to face you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“what was that?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“love. these flowers represent love. why?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>a smile slowly spreads across his face, as he gets a little closer to you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“ah, so you figured it out. i knew you would get it, i was just waiting.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“but, i don’t understand. you…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>it wasn’t making sense.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you took a couple more strides towards him, looking up at him. you felt like you were going to cry, but why?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>he loved you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>he loves you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>you took a deep breath before standing up on your tiptoes and pressing your lips to his.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>akira smiled into your kiss, lifting you off your feet just a little bit. you squeak before throwing your arms around his neck, bouquet still in your hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>your heart flutters as he pulls away from you and gently sets you back on the ground. you suddenly get a little embarrassed, turning your face away to hide how red you’ve turned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“oh, don’t get cutesy now.” he teases, cupping his hand on your cheek, “so i take it you accept my proposal?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“proposal?” you repeat, looking at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“be my boyfriend?” he asks. your eyes widen as you nod frantically.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“yes yes yes yes yes!” you exclaim, throwing your hands up, “oh! was i that obvious? ann figured it out, did you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>he shook his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“not until the poem last night.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“maybe i should share my poetry more often then.” you take his hand, pressing another kiss to his cheek </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>do you wanna leave at the same time?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>do you wanna leave at the same time? </span>
  </em>
</p>
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